Hey Dark Days

For the not so lovely days...

Written April 21, 2011; Dedicated to the dark days

Hey dark days

It's been a while since we met 

We've gone our separate ways 

But there's no way that'd I'd forget 

You're lurking 

Finding ways to come alive 

It's working 

As I'm tested and I'm tried

I feel it 

As the mood begins to change 

You're the infant 

of my undivided rage 

I'm crying 

Hoping that someone can hear 

My sanity is dying 

I'm crippled with my fear

I'm screaming 

In the silence of my soul 

I'm dreaming 

Because I've lost all control 

Can anyone hear me? 

Or am I the only one...

Can I be set free? 

Or do I have to run...

I've been abandoned in this mess 

My eyes are bloodshot 

I no longer can rest 

I've given all I got

Is this my fate; to pay for my sins? 

The enemy has won

How did I let him win? 

As I proceed to give up

I'm waken by a sound 

It shakes me enough

To force me to the ground 

On my knees I plead

To be given another chance 

I don't deserve what I need 

The blood shed of a man 

I look at my filthy clothes

and watch as they change 

They turn white as snow 

I know that I've been saved 

Rejoice! Rejoice! 

Rejoice in the name!

He heard my quiet voice 

and saved me from my shame

I'm forever grateful of His love 

I'll sing songs of thankfulness 

to my Savior up above

I'm saved, 

Amen 

Sincerely, Stephanie

Love isn't found in a cereal box

Real love isn't found in a cereal box; it finds us. Real love isn't Taylor Swift and chick flicks; the movies do a weak job of presenting what it is. Real love isn't empty words; anyone can sound believable. "You're the girl of my dreams," "We're going to last forever!" "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen!" Gag. Real love doesn't just come and go; it lingers. Real love isn't when you feel like it; it's always. Real love doesn't let you go, unless it's what's best. Real love doesn't try to replace itself; it's not recyclable. Real love doesn't die; long after it's gone, it lives. Real love doesn't hate; it loves what it should and tries to love what it wouldn't.  Real love is real; it's not a fantasy. Real love will tell you I love you, and prove it. Real love is sacrificial for what it loves. 
Real love lives. Fake love dies. Is your love real? 


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 4-7 

Unashamed

For All It's Worth

Written April 10, 2011; dedicated to the unashamed

She smiles, she laughs, she's kind

She's strong, she's wild, she's wise 

Is that what you see looking through your eyes? 

I'd like to say that all those facts are true

But I bet there's some things that you never knew

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep

Sometimes the pain is just too deep

Sometimes I wish I were a kid again 

Sometimes I want my life to end 

Sometimes I use music to escape 

Sometimes I dance to feel awake 

Sometimes I envy other girls

Sometimes I'm afraid of the entire world 

I may be blunt, and saying too much

But at least I have the courage and the guts 

Don't be a fool and say it's not true

That none of those lines can apply to you

I've failed, I've screamed, I've dreamed, I've lost

I've lied, I've lusted, and I payed the cost 

I'm a mess, deranged and broken inside 

From my fears and scars I cannot hide

But I'll fight them all with everything I own 

At least I know that I'm not alone 

Inside this broken heart of mine 

I carry a love so deep and divine 

It gives me hope and the will to survive 

It's the only thing that keeps me alive

When I'm weak it holds my hand

When I'm lost it helps me understand 

It heals the scars and breathes life into my soul

In shaky waters it gives me control 

It takes away my guilt and shame 

It's because this love I'll never be the same 

Such a great gift, but for what the price? 

That, my friend, was the blood of Jesus Christ 

Long ago He gave His life for you and Me

So that I may live to tell you this story 

I'm alive because the price He payed 

Accepting Him was the best decision I ever made 

Now I may be this broken mess that you see

But at least I'm forgiven and have been set free

I wish you the best on your journey on earth 

He loves you like crazy, for all it's worth 

Sincerely,

Stephanie

Hardcore Dreamers

I feel it all the time. It's something I can't describe. I hear His voice deep inside my soul. It whispers my dreams and inspires me to exist. It comforts my aches and lifts my spirits. It gives me strength, directions, instructions, ideas. Words come rushing through my mind. I'm drawn into the cool waters of places I've never been. I believe that I belong here and my job isn't complete quite yet. I want to give up all the time...but He won't let me. He needs me to do something, to be somewhere, to be someone. It's all intertwined into one lucid dream, and quickly contradicted by it's uncertainty. Me? Just a girl; a young confused being. I don't know why I have to reach the end, but I know I have to no matter what. Giving up is what the enemy wants. In the midst of turmoil is when I bring my A game. We know how this war will end. 

I'm fighting for the champions. 

We are real. We are raw. We are hardcore dreamers. 

A Love Letter

Dear Love of My Life,
Written April 6, 2011; Dedicated to _______


You may know me, you may not

You may have seen me and forgot 

We may have already met 

Or maybe our paths have not crossed yet

Either way we're meant to be

Someday it will work out perfectly 

I dream of you all the time 

Wishing you'd already be mine 

I must be patient for you to arrive 

After all, it's what keeps me alive 

I pray for you to be safe in His arms 

Under His wing, near no harm

Someday I'll hold you oh so tight 

The day our hearts will unite 

I hold a broken heart in my chest 

I cherish the little pieces I have left 

It's what I have to give to you; 

A love so real, so strong, so true 

I'll be your dream girl and best friend 

I'll love you forever, until the end 

I'll hold you, support you, and wipe away your tears

I'll accept you, forgive you, and help you fight your fears

When you're down I'll try and make you laugh

You'll never be alone, because I'll be your other half 

We've been fooled in the past by how we feel 

But our love will last, because it will be the real deal 

Our hearts will sing the music of love

It will reflect what we've been given from above 

I'll wait for you as long as it takes 

I'll pray for you every morning I wake 

I'll keep on going, saving my heart for you

I love you my dear, I hope to see you soon
Sincerely,
Stephanie