Goodbye.

Welp. This is me saying "Au Revoir!" to this blog. This blog holds my last two years of thoughts, tears, inspirations and dreams. It's been a great journey through the roller coaster of adolescence. But a new horizon is taking way, and it seems fitting for this chapter to come to a close. I'll keep this blog open, to look back upon and because the content is still relevant and can be used. But as I'm about to enter a new stage in my life very soon, I wanted to make a new blog based on my new journey. Essence of Adolescence, you've been good to me. But now it's time to apply who I'm becoming into this world. Spread my wings and define who Stephanie is, and how Christ will use her in this world to glorify His kingdom. 
I introduce, "The Art of Becoming Stephanie" my brand new blog for this brand new chapter of life. 


Sincerely,
Stephanie 

Soul Sick

I find it absolutely ironic and incredible how everything leads to some sort of metaphor. I think God purposely designed things to connect like that to show all aspects lead back to something else, which ultimately leads back to Him. 

Lately... I feel as though my faith for God is strong but my soul is sick. So you know when you have a cold? You're entire body is affected and you feel icky and as if you're not your best. Nauseous even. You don't feel like doing anything when you're sick, and pretty much hate living in this ill body. Well, have you ever been soul sick? The symptoms are similar to that of a real cold, but more so spiritually. A healthy heart  that's in tune with God is vibrant and SCREAMS confidence in Christ. Joy is abundant and mind is at peace. Well a sick soul is far from that. What's the cause of being soul sick? Relying on anything and everything but God. It's like loading yourself on junk food, and getting a tummy ache, never getting the proper nutrients of our necessity foods. It can look like filling up the gaping hole with people, food, clothes, money, music, school, work, stress...anything that fills it up. Sometimes we think that a boy texting us is all we need to get us through. There's been times I've ran to junk food hoping it can just comfort me while the storm passes. Or even times I relied on my appearance to suffice for my inside. Like the more I look good on the outside, the more myself and others think I'm good on the inside. When really, that's not how I feel. Life plays in fast forward, and I never took time to rest my soul, find peace and serenity in Christ, GET my fill on the word...and I got soul sick. God is close by, and I feel it. But it's me that's far away from being where I should be. Constantly the Lord reminds me my NEEDINESS for Him. He shows me how unsatisfying everything else really is. It's a lesson I can't learn enough. And the moment I have that rude awakening where I realize how unhappy I really am with myself, how shallow I've been and selfish...His overwhelming love pours in and says, "It's okay. You slipped, now don't keep playing with fire. Reach for my hand again. Quick. I forgive you, now embrace what I've been trying to show you." And so I do. Sometimes I need to be knocked down. I need some humility. That's the medicine. Christ is the cure. It's a road to recovery each time. 
And each time I get stronger and more immune to Satan's path and plot to deter my character. 
It's a good thing God gives me health insurance. 

Sincerely,

Stephanie

Live Now.

You spend so much time thinking about what the future holds, and if what you're doing now will benefit you then. But when you do get there, all your over-analyzing and thinking will have done you no good. Because whether you think about it or not, what's meant to be will be. Life will play itself out if you're present or not. The future will happen. But what are you living for? Something you vaguely imagine, or what's right in front of you now? If you train yourself to always live in the past or the future, you'll never live at all. You can't change the past, and you can't control the future. But you can enjoy the present. learn from your past, strive for a great future, but live for the present. After all, today is a gift, tomorrow is a possibility. Embrace what you do have, not what you hope you will have. 

Sincerely,

Stephanie

The Declaration of Confidence

If you're a dedicated follower of my blog, I apologize for all these love posts. But there's just so much I'm learning that I need to tell you! 


Girl.

I've been the girl that no one noticed or wanted. I'd judge the girls that had so many guys around them, and say how desperate they all must be. But what I was really thinking was, "I can't even get one guy to look at me, let alone juggle more than one." I was jealous, envious, frustrated, lonely and insecure. Then things changed. I got attention, and even if it was the bad kind, I wouldn't let it go. I fed off it. I've also been the girl who's been pursued by someone I didn't necessarily feel the same way about. I've been the girl that saw something she wanted and would do anything for it. Wanting someone that doesn't even barely acknowledge you exist. Sister mode. I've also mutually felt something for someone and had to let that go. No matter how much I justified each encounter, as to why "they should be the one," they're not here next to me to testify it was worth it. Worth the tears, worth the pain...And while I do have regrets, I apply my own medicine as well as the Truth from His word, and tell you each regret has led me to learn something valuable. 
Be something worth chasing. Don't ever, ever, ever, run after a boy. Build yourself up. He didn't love you? That doesn't mean no one ever will. Dispose of the lies, and embrace the truth. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way in different accounts, that you should never settle. The world may be quick to judge and disregard my worth. But I know what I'm worth. Christ has shown me. My value is not defined by the world's standards of something worth fighting for. With an eternal perspective, and a pure heart, God overfills my cup with great dignity and refinement. No matter how many have trampled over your feelings, or maybe even how much you've stepped over them, you are still capable of becoming something wonderful. Don't wait for the boy to come along and tell you that for you to believe it. When he comes along you should be able to say, "Oh, trust me, I know what I am." Conceited? No. Confident.  After all, confidence is the most attractive thing one can possess. 


The Declaration of Confidence


I,  __________, am the most beautiful girl in the world. I am confident and strong. And though I'm not perfect, it doesn't get better than me. For those who missed out, and those who walked out, thank you. It's because of you I have learned valuable lessons. My mistakes are what make me wiser, stronger, and more resilient to your lies. I can smile today, just because I can. You don't hold me captive. Your standards and your expectations are meaningless to me. I'm not lying to myself by saying all this to make myself feel better. I'm simply stating the longly overdue truth. And I don't need anyone to tell me that. I am royalty. I am a princess. I wish you the best.., oh wait, I am the best. 


Sincerely,
NOT your property 


Now, that may have sounded a bit absurd and over the top. But it's all true. You are beautiful, my dear. You are worth it. Worth the fight. Don't ever settle for less. Take it from someone who understands completely, they'll never satisfy you. But Christ will. 


Stephanie

Excitement!

Senior year is coming to a close soon for me! Less than a month left of high school. Crazy.

The Hope for Haiti trip is just around the corner and I can't even contain my excitement. I'm most looking forward to everything God is going to teach me in the next stages of life. Also, something to be excited about is my new blog coming soon! 
"The Art of Becoming Stephanie" 
which won't start till Spring or Summer. Life is good y'all, because He is great! 

Sincerely,

Stephanie 

advice.

A lot of people will tell you they love you and make promises when emotions run high. But when it comes down to it, the one's that stick it out and are still there in the long run are the one's that really meant it. Don't place all your bets so quickly. Be flattered, but never let it get to your head. Because when true love is in front of you, you'll be happy you waited. Only time can tell. 

The best advice I have for anyone right now. 

Sincerely,

Stephanie

♥

amour

I've unlocked a new treasure in understanding this whole love thing...


What puzzled me most was how love is identified in this society. "Hate is a strong word, but people throw out love like it's nothing." True fact. I'm pretty sure the first time a boy told me he loved me I was like 14. In which case, me being vulnerable and naive, I believed him! That was the start of my distorted definition. And then being surrounded by puppy love in high school doesn't help. People are on the love boat before they can even drive! Whoever's passing out these licenses needs a major high five, in the face, with a chair! Seriously. At a young age we're exposed to such an artificial love that the word longer holds the value and meaning it's meant to have. There's a fine line between love, and feelings. I don't think I've ever been in love. You know how I know? It didn't last. I think I've loved, and felt strongly for someone but it wasn't the actual thing. There's love, and then there's imitation love. Sometimes we can completely think we're in love because our feelings are so strong for that person in that moment. But feelings are deceiving things. They come and go like the days that pass us by with no remorse. And sometimes it goes beyond feelings. You can be infatuated to that person, care for them, and your heart is at this super high. Who am I to say that's not love? But see, that's where I was confused. Okay, you feel so strong for someone, then why do so many relationships fade and die and feelings vanish? I thought it was love? And maybe you did love them, but it wasn't the kind of love I'm talking about. In-love. What I'm learning is love goes beyond how you "feel" and the way your stomach turns when you think about that person. Love goes beyond what the tongue can say. Love goes beyond passion and lust. Because love isn't just a feeling. It's an action. Real love, I mean the real thing, is dedication. It's the feelings, that last forever. The attraction, that is still attractive after looks fade. And it's commitment and sacrifice. I learned the hard way to never use that word lightly. Because it's meant for someone truly worthy. The best way to build a true relationship is to just do life with someone. When you can love on just who they are in a friendship, and love their heart, you're on the right track. Because if you jump straight into a passionate, uncontrollable, lustful relationship what do you have to back it up when the passion fades? When you get old and tired, wouldn't it be nice to have someone there that can love your company just because you're you? Don't get me wrong, all that other stuff is exciting and beautiful as it was designed to be by our creator, FOR that ONE person. But there's more to love than just that. And being a believer with Christ alive in my heart, I can take part in an even more incredible story. The only thing that lasts forever is Him, and if He's alive in me and that person, our love can last forever. "If a relationship is centered on God, then that love can't be broken because God can't be broken!" 
It's worth waiting for that right person. Don't rush love. Great things take time. 
Sincerely,
Stephanie


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4