Freaks With a Purpose

Hello reader. If you are reading this, well it's flattering that you find interest in what I think. Or you're just really bored, and somehow creeped enough to land on my page. Either way, I'm happy you are taking the time to read this. It's pretty cool what God can do with our lives. I'll just be walking along minding my own biz, when all of the sudden "BAM!" He surprises me, yet again, with His pure awesomeness. Yea, people think we're Jesus freaks. Honestly, I can't help it. They are blind, but He makes them see, and once you see, you have accomplished faith. Congratulations! It's not hard to get what I'm saying. You just ask Him into your heart, and the beauty starts from there. He mends the brokenness, and gives you understanding. Pretty cool stuff. It gives us reason to live. We learn the value of genuine love. In my walk, I've stumbled, fell on my face, and He picked me up. Each time I got up, I was a little stronger. I've seen people stray, people hate and people scold this whole "Christianity" thing. It's not a religion, but more so a way of life. When they question God, why there is evil in the world, hate, famine, death? I admit, I sometimes stutter and stumble in my tracks. Although these answers come natural to me, I can never find the right words to express what I'm thinking. Yea, all that stuff exists because of sin. It was our choice from the beginning of time to go against Him. Now He's given us the choice to follow Him or the world. The answers are there. If you're one of those die hard "give me the answer now!" types of people, well you won't get far in life with that mentality. You need to be open with your mind. Leave room for believing in the impossible, and seeking the unlikely. Because those are the things that will change your life, and give you purpose. Not science. God created science, and people use it against Him! They don't want to believe that such love exists, because they're so hardened to believe that nothing like that exists. I may look like a ditz to them, but hey that's persecution for you. I like to read this book, written by like these beyond amazing authors, called The Bible, maybe you heard of it? Anyways, it's straight up some pretty legit literature. If you actually read it, it will tell you all. People have told me, "Oh, all the bible says is we're going to go to hell, and blah blah blah..." I was like "uh, is that all you read from it?" The bible is filled with answers, love, and stories. I mean, we are all created with intricate design, and have meaning. How can you doubt that there is a greater good, a creator, when you step back and look at all this creation? The big bang can't create emotions and designs? So you believe in all the science mumbo jumbo, cool, what now? With the mind set, I have no reason to believe in anything. Have any morals, or consume any real love. Christ portrays love over and over to us. He gives us hope. Would I speak so passionately about this if I didn't truly 100% believe that it is indeed real stuff? But who am I right? Just a sixteen year old girl, with nothing but fantasies in her brain, and a really misled faith. I beg to differ. "Wake up Stephanie!" Oh, but I'm wide awake, trust me.  In your eyes I'm a dreamer. In His, I'm a believer. He'll come back for me, and all else who took part in the battle. I'll take that to the grave, and you can take your philosophies and doubts. Have a nice pointless life, I'll be making purpose. 

"'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

Mark 9:23

Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.
John 14:11-12

Sassy

"It's okay to be sassy."- Hannah Lawson. Teenage girls are notorious for bringing their sass on. Why is it that we do so? It's simple. We want people to see how we feel, and grab their attention. Even if we don't admit it. There's always the people who sass it up, just because they think it's fun too. The way we present ourselves in speech, body language and vocabulary choices, are all reflections of our inner souls. For so long I felt the need to be strong, and not admit to needing anyone, or anything. I felt obligated to make people think I'm some perfect little superwoman, that knows it all. Who was I fooling? I know nothing. I am far from perfect, and I need a shoulder to cry on just as much as the next person. Bottling things up leaves you bloated with emotions our bodies were not meant to handle all at once. And when I started to be "sassy" it got me thinking, well maybe this is my way of saying, "hey, I'm no sweetheart, now give me a hug." It sure isn't probably the most wise way of expressing ourselves, but it gets the point across. I went to a couple friends, and just laid it out raw. No more being fake, no more Mr. Nice girl. We need to be real. We need to help one another grow. I've always been there for my friends, but never let my friends be there for me. God helps a lot. He gives you strength, love, courage and so much more. But He also gave us humans, companions, because we need one another. So when you think you know it all, that you can do it all on your own, newsflash...You can't. And that's okay. In my journey, I'm finding it's okay to be a mess. It's okay to feel broken. It's okay to feel lonely. But it's not okay to pretend like it's all okay. Be real. Be sassy. Be you.

The Holy Spirit bears us up in our weaknesses.

Romans 8:26 

The Caged Bird Sings

Tell me, what's worse? Being a caged bird, or chained down to the ground? To be honest they both suck. Either way, they metaphorically stand for something. Is it worse to be chained down by your sins, or forbidden to fly free? To feel trapped, or to feel hopeless? The cage has a key, and so does the chain. For some reason, no one seems to open it. Almost like we're meant to be stuck. They don't trust us with freedom. But what is freedom if it leaves you with many chains binding you to the ground? Trick question.  We're never satisfied. We only want more, and once we get more, it's only more we want. If you eat too much candy, you'll just get cavities, enjoyment that's not good for you = consequences. Same goes for sin. Enjoyment of what is not good for you = consequences. And while I hate to see a bird in a cage, and would love to see it fly, I hate to think of the danger beyond the metal wires. So we're being protected, out of love? And as I hate to see someone motionless in chains, they brought it upon themselves  to choose imprisonment. Punishment to learn a lesson? Love and Justice. So, I guess I don't know what's worse, or if they're even so awful at all. They're meant to be used for our benefits. Tough love. God can set them both free, yes. But in two alternate realms of reality, we still happen to be in the chains and cages one way or another. Whether it's wishing you could walk amongst the world with no shame, or walking in shame amongst the world, you have a burden to carry. Once you get what you want, you have to deal with the suffering that comes with it. And when you want something you don't have, you have to deal with the constant urges, and desires. So you see, both have quite a battle to endure. And it's all because something called sin. Something I guess we're stuck with until the end. In the end, I guess we'll be set free. Not just set free into a world of despair, but into perfection. New life, new body, new mind. That's the key. For now, I'll sing in my cage, and rattle my chains, the music of life is what makes it okay.


We have escaped like a bird from the fowler's snare; the snare has been broken, and we have escaped.
Psalm 124:7

Be Yourself

Did you know that you are an amazing being? That all your fears of believing the truth are what's holding you back from embracing what life has to offer. Insecurities, and lack of believing in ourselves causes us to become someone we're not. When I was in an atmosphere filled with lost ones, I didn't know who I was. I too was lost. It turned out the person I was portraying, was actually an imitation of a bundle of different people I aspired to be. Of course, that wasn't really what I wanted. It was just all I knew. When you seek out yourself, by inputing the influence of all that's around you, the results vary. You don't become content and  confident with who you are. Just safe. You're okay, because you're accepted. But who said our goal should be being accepted? I say, forget that theory, and let's face against the wind. Let's throw it back at them, because let's face it, life is short and I will not waste it trying to find who I am, where the maps have all the wrong directions. It's way more fun living in confidence, and believing in yourself, then wishing you could. But people often ask, how to get there? What needs to be done in order to feel that way? How can I ever be content with my past, or the way I look, or how much money I have? The answer is simple. You accept life for what it is, and find all the beauty in it. You smile, because smiling releases happy endorphins into your brain, bringing forth happiness. You build on forgiveness, and seek out the good in all situations. You throw away your weaknesses, and strengthen your gifts. And if you shoot for perfection, well, you'll be disappointed. But if you shoot for nothing but yourself, perfection is achieved. We were created to be the way we are. So, as you sit in that chair, bed, couch, in whatever article of clothing, with whatever hairdo, just know you are perfect. Maybe not in the worlds eyes, but in His you are. And if that's not enough for you, well consider yourself selfish. Why do we value the opinions of people anyways? It's not like they're the greatest creator of all time? My point being made, we must accept ourselves for who we are, before we can live. You're not living until you love yourself. Learn to love yourself, it's worth it, because you're worth it. 



Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!
Psalm 31:24

Loving Life

Life is so beautiful, when you let it be. When you enjoy each breath, each moment, each memory. When time slips by and you miss the past, you have to remember the memories you made last. I am really enjoying life right now. Things turn around when you pray for them too. God can really bless us when we leave everything up to His will. I'm blessed with a family that truly cares and loves me. I'm secure, and so thankful for where I've been placed in my life. I have friends I wouldn't trade for the world. As many friends have faded, the true one's have lasted. I've taken each day and just being thankful for it. I don't deserve any of this. To be content with myself, and who I've become, is a battle I plan to conquer till the end of time. Time in itself is a mysterious virtue, that holds us accountable for using it wisely. We're only given a certain amount. We all have expiration dates, and eventually this heart will take it's last beat. We don't think about it a lot, but there is an end, and we all will meet it. I'm far from perfect, and I'm beginning to understand that that's part of being human. Human. Such a broad word for such a wide variety of people out there. We're all human. And right now, I love being human.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Person Of Many Titles

They call me girl, they call me kid, they call me young, they call me child. They call me weird, they call me dumb, they call me lame, they call me wild. They call me a joke, a freak, deranged and dismayed.  They call me loner, despicable, ugly and afraid. They call me worthless, impure, filthy and ashamed. They call me loser arrogant, unimportant and a disgrace. To them I am nothing but a waste of matter and time. To Him I am beautiful and worth the fight. He calls me daughter, princess, perfect and friend. He calls me sweetheart, amazing and loves me till the end. He calls me forgiven, renewed, a masterpiece and important. He loved me enough then to die, now to live and fight, and till the end when we reunite. 

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 

Growing Up Is A Mystery

It's amazing how much you can learn from a four year old. I've always loved kids, and being around them. I'm still somewhat of a kid. Three of my favorite kids to babysit of all time, are Autumn, Caden and Maddy Hines. They always give me so much joy every time I watch over them. Today, I had an hour long conversation with four year old Maddy about the existence of Jesus, and the difference between real and fake. I listened as this precious girl rant on about her favorite princesses, and how much she loved Jesus. So young, but she knows what's up. I listened to all their pointless stories, and creative ideas. I wished so badly I could go back in time, and think as simply as they do. I wish I didn't have to grow up. It was so nice to to not know what heartbreak felt like, or the cruelty out in the world. Maddy calls all the evil in the world, "The Bad Guys." And well, I wish I never knew the bad guys. As I look at their faces, and listened to them laugh and play, I realized someday they'll grow up. The world they will someday occupy will be worse than the one we currently dwell in. They won't stay cute and innocent forever. But I guess, it's neat to see how far I've come from the good ol' days. From the days of Barney and playing dress up. Growing up is an important part of life. We have to go through all the stages in order to become who we are meant to be. We were specifically and carefully designed to slowly obtain knowledge and understanding of how the world works. In Ephesians 3:16-19, it discusses the mysteries of God's plan. "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Life is a mystery, that we will never understand. No matter how much you lay down the facts, and try to find answers, there will always be mysteries. That's the beauty of faith. If we could know everything, and why things are, and that God really is real, then we would have no faith left to prove. This idea is expressed in a song by JJ Heller, called "Invisible Love." It's a life worth living. Through each year, each stage and each challenge, it's all worth it. Someday all will be known when we go home. 

Read Ephesians 3